So the road season and I had had our wee hug. Our wee “all being well I’ll see you next year” and “I promise to stay in touch” parting of the ways. I could feel a lack of passion from it though and our relationship had ended with a bit of a whimper rather than a bang.

Farewell my summer love.

I had felt training was going well I just couldn’t seem to convert it to racing but not to matter, things were changing now anyway. Roads finished. No indoor season in Scotland. May as well get involved in a wee bit of Cross Country as my club are big on it. They tell me it’ll help my hair grow back and things like that but how confident am I about Cross Country? It’s safe to say my confidence was pretty much about zero. My last outing had been the International at Dublin where I had ran below par and put myself out the running to ever be considered again. Couldn’t even see me making any of the Cambuslang teams this year either but it’s what it is. Try and have a bit of fun, use it as strength work. I didn’t want to throw in the towel totally, as much as I felt like it, and decided to have a final go at making the Cambuslang M50 team for the National relays. We have a few folk unavailable and there are more guys coming up next year. Probably my last chance so I’ll have a wee target. I even started doing my own wee lunchtime sessions in the mud, may as well get used to it.

First up was the West Districts relays which were basically our trial for the Nationals. It’s a good range finder too. Helps you get used to the conditions without any real pressure as there is no 50 race. I was also going to use it to work on my head as I had been disappointed in my closing fight of late. In the masters B team and going off on leg 2 in the pouring rain and mud. I started off hard up the first wee hill then we hit the real sponge and mud. Down to Hurley corner where Frank was having tremendous glee watching folk fall on their arses, he’s good that way our Frank. In all seriousness big kudos to all the volunteers and stewards who stood in pouring rain for hours so we could get a run. Top notch. I was plodding without any real intent until WERRs Stephen Brown went past and that woke me up. I wouldn’t say I tried to go with him, because I couldn’t have, but I upped it and started to challenge myself and enjoy it. I took on the conditions. I took on the mud. I started chasing people, not caring if it all blew up and I really finished well. I had actually enjoyed it. Earth shattering? No. But I had done enough to be fastest M50 in my club which I hoped would get me selection for the nationals, and my time was on par with a lot of guys who been selected for the international team and for the reserve list. It’s one race, granted, but at least I no longer felt quite as bad about myself as I had beforehand.

In between the 2 relays was a free Saturday. I did my XC session midweek then went to Strathclyde parkrun on the Saturday. Simple aim. Go out hard but steady. Aim for 17.30. Be prepared to take people on over the last k. Couldn’t quite hold the 3.30 a k pace and with a k to go was sitting on  about 17.45 pace but there s a string of folk ahead. Many of them are running a lot better than me but it was time to test the head out as well as the legs. A solid 3.10 last k for 17.21 and got half the group I had chased. The ones I failed to get? Didn’t matter. One guy who has been running out of his skin recently went with me as I went past him but I held him off. That was more like the old me. No fear. Did it go totally to plan? No, as 2 guys were a couple of seconds in front, but it didn’t bother me. I need to remember that. This was a really positive outing from that perspective, the running felt good and I felt like I was regaining control of my head.

Thursday night and the email comes out. I am in the A team, and running second leg, the same as last year where I felt my leg cost us the gold. Right Marko, remember how that disappointment felt, don’t feel that way again. I am book ended by current internationalists Chris and Justin, so yep, I am the weak link in the team.  I did my online nosey at the entries and couldn’t see past Garscube for the win, with last years winners Cumbernauld looking strong too. I felt we had a podium chance though if we all ran to our potential. Corstorphine would be there, Central, Moray had some cracking XC runners, Edinburgh and PH with real potential too. The 50s was looking on fire. My nerves were quite bad and not because I was going to Cumbernauld on my own without a chib, but because I cared and I didn’t want to let the other boys down and I’m sure they were probably disappointed that they were having to rely on me. I had to give everything and give Justin a chance on the last leg. Our ladies team more than demonstrated what being a team was all about for me though by taking Cambuslang’s first ever Womens medal in this event. 4 superb runs, with Stef bringing the team home in bronze. How could that not inspire and how could I not be inspired by what happened next?

Chris on our first leg is 60 and taking on people 10 years younger than him and I see him coming round the first loop not only in contention but leading the 50s race. Around me waiting to go I have John from Garscube, whose team mate is right behind Chris. I wouldn’t quite say John has had me in his back pocket since we both started back since I am not usually close enough to even see what shorts he is wearing. Look, there’s Scott Brember, to me the best M50 XC runner in Scotland if not Britain. Walter from Cumbernauld, beat me by 20 odd seconds in Dublin. Iain from Corstorphine who had a great dong dong in the trail champs with Walter last week. Like a really bad episode of Benny Hill, this wee baldy man was going to be getting chased through 4k of mud and hills by the dollies of the M50 category.

Did I feel fear? 100%. But I had been here before. The Road relays, Corstorphine on my shoulder as we started. My off the cuff tactics worked that day. I won’t give it all away but the jist today was start hard, finish hard, and don’t lose too much ground in between. If anyone goes past you at the start then they have the boost, at least tire them out first and then see what you can do in a real foot race. My first k was about 18 seconds or so faster than last year. Sustainable? Good god no, but no one was past me yet, they would have to work for it. I knew John was there. I also knew that if I got this wrong then going from 1^st to 5^th was a strong possibility. The top end of the course was really muddy so there was a slow down but no real drop in effort. I could hear John’s breathing, it was only a matter of time before he made his move. Down past the Cambuslang tent and the support was immense. It’s giving me a second wind though I know the real race is still to come. I’m halfway and I’m still in touch and the team are depending on me. Come on head, stay strong. We turn at the bottom ready for the long slog back up and John goes. I am prepared for it and this time I sit on his shoulder, back past the Cambuslang tents. The shout comes for me to relax my running and I do, it makes so much sense, I start expending less energy and I am feeling good. We are neck and neck again, we turn to come back down the hill and I do what the me of 3 or 4 weeks ago wouldn’t have done, I make my own move.

It’s slow at first, a yard then maybe two yards, but as we come into the last climb I feel I have a little daylight. Speirsie is yelling at me “You’re starting to break him”. Chris is cheering and taking photos as I give it a go.

Support everywhere on that course. Amazing. And I go for it, round the top and half a k downhill to go. I am passing others though every sound I hear is John coming back at me but today I have the luck. It’s my best XC race since the 1988 Glasgow Schools and I come home 30 seconds faster than last year in what ends up being the second fastest time of the day in the race (2^nd behind Scott Brember? I’ll take that any day) and I have managed to give Justin a 17 second advantage going into the last leg over Nick of Garscube who is absolutely flying just now. I think I am now faster than I was during the race going round to every point I can on the course to cheer Justin on. The racing is immense. The atmosphere on the course fantastic. At halfway and the gap is closing but Justin is battling and racing like the XC superstar he is. Up the last climb and the gap is enough, and Justin finishes strongly to take the win over Garscube by 9 seconds. Not far behind is Stevie Allen from Cumbernauld who had chased hard that last leg for Cumbernauld. What a race, and a privilege to be a part of it. To add to the excitement our 40s come in with the gold too, delighted for Speirsie in particular.

52 years old and my first ever Scottish gold Cross Country medal. I genuinely didn’t think I would ever get one of these.

This is probably my last opportunity so I am absolutely delighted. On the day everything clicked for me and my team were absolutely bloody awesome. The underdogs had done it. Every one of us had run above ourselves for that red and white vest, for each other. Two days later and I am still buzzing. Now I know this is self congratulatory but this is about as good as it gets for me, and I am normally down on myself so give me this one. There are so many levels this was satisfying on but some of them I won’t put down in print (there are certain things that do spur you on). This blog comes 100% from a place of joy and not ego, because I know on another day the whole of the top 3 could have been in a different order, and I know 99% of the time I would be left in other’s trails but for this one? I can bottle it and it’s a memory I can keep with me.

A big thanks to all at Cambuslang that supported us here, but I want to particularly single out Colin Feechan for a lot of wisdom and advice that sometimes I don’t even think he knows he has passed on. Thanks to all the volunteers etc who put all these events on, you let us oldies chase our daft wee dreams. Thanks for the photos go to Kev Queenan, Jennifer Beattie, John Speirs, Chris Upson, Steven Fitzpatrick, me, Bobby Gavin at thatonemoment, Theo Carter, and anyone else who I have forgotten, because I’m old.

The song? Two with the same title depending on your taste in music. It has to be Underdog, for obvious reasons. Have some Kasabian, or the mellow sounds of Turin Brakes. Both added to the playlist.