Tubby last run and lessons learned

So I did what I said and took a few weeks off. Sadly I have eaten like a pig and drunk like a Mccaig. I’ve put over half a stone on, ouch. Did two 5 milers on Friday and Monday, then today decided to do a 10 miler. There were no legs there. Empty, a toil. From Strathclyde park up and around Chatelherault and back again. I really struggled, couldn’t find my running, every niggle playing up, but to be fair i kept going and did the full lot. Around the halfway point, 5 miles on,  is the biggest hill in the world coming off the green bridge. As I got to the bottom of it I saw someone near the top. I had to go my own pace to get up and not stop, as I got to the less steep incline after the steep bit I went past the fella, with a jaunty “morning” to him. This fella wasn’t happy. For the next 3k he chased me, trying to get past me. I didn’t want to run fast. I was feeling sorry for my wee chubby self. And guilty. But male pride kicked in. For those 3k I upped my average pace by about 45 seconds per K to burn him off. And I did. Roon ye man in the yellow jacket. Do I thank him for making me run with more purpose? No. I want to hunt him down like a dog. And steal his remaining selection boxes. Yeah I toiled. Lesson learned. Weight goes on faster than it comes off, and increasing calories when I’m doing no exercise is more stupid than Joey Essex on Mastermind doing the works of Leo Sayer. So a few weeks of hard work coming up. Once I finish these Munchies. As an aside as I left chatelherault with a couple of miles to go there was thick ice. I slipped for 50 yards (or maybe just 5) like Mr Bean but just managed to stay on my feet and keep a shred of dignity. I bet Mr Yellow jacket poured that water before he went into the park.

So what else did I learn this year? I learned what a parlauf was. (Sorry to Roddy that I couldn’t get him in a position to fight for first place in the MAC champs, but second is glory in itself.)


I learned that if you lose weight then wearing the same shorts that you did before the weight loss on a fast run will result in your shorts starting to fall down showing your arse cheeks to any runners behind you. This makes a fast time trial result unlikely.  I learned that forgetting to put protective stuff on my nipples when I wear a new top and go a 10 miler with a fat belly on hogmanay is sore. I learned that my ex teammates and coaches from Cambuslang and new teammates and coaches at Motherwell do give a monkeys about old/new runners. But most importantly I learned that if I don’t put my dirty running clothing in the washing the right way round Elaine won’t wash it. She’s been my wee rock this year and humoured me as I tried to relive my youth and prove that I could change things about. Thank you x Happy new year everyone:)

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