I’ve ran many races you know. Most of them pre my 20s where I probably ran at least one race on average a week. I doubt I was ever as nervous as this, nor did I ever enjoy crossing finish line as much as this. Yeah I won’t keep you in suspense, I made it round.  I got to Bellahouston early, we parked about a ten minute walk away and I had a cigarette crouched behind a car so that real runners couldn’t see me. My fund raising had gone well so I knew I had to get round and to add spice to it Producer Jim had offered £50 to the charity of the first finisher from our wee group.  Jim himself was going well, Iain the Kinky Wizard was a 7 foot superfit footballer with legs about 1k long themselves, Biffy Kev had pulled out after getting some split ends in his beard, David couldn’t make it as he was practising rolling his eyes and Wolfie was an unknown quantity. Elaine had done everything in her power to make me feel right, I couldn’t even have made it to the park without her support.

 

I joined in part of the warm up, but only a part as I’m a stiff as a board.

We then we got piped up to the start.  Then it was time. I got through and started my app, headphones in to give me my paces. At 5 k I was at 28 mins so I had a chance, and then the hills of Pollok park really kicked in. My legs were burning. We got drummed up the steepest one which really helped me get to the top. I had forgot to run up hills in my training. I was seemingly involved in a war with a guy wearing a ladies swimsuit, and someone who looked like Billy Bragg as we got back into Bellahouston Park. My legs were dead.

But I managed to hold it up the final wee incline and get to that finish line. Behind Braggy and the swimsuit clad fella whose googlies kept falling out.  55.46. I had got there, beat the hour, and for once I was actually proud of myself. My boys were happy, I managed to finish just ahead of Iain and Jim to get the extra sponsor money, I never did meet Wolfie and we got to take the mickey out of Kev, who was sadly clean shaven.

 

I had another fag in the car park hiding behind the car again as I didn’t want the Wizards to see me smoking. I spent the next 2 weeks out with a dodgy ankle (pattern emerging) but we all agreed it was magic fun and that it would be rude not to do the Great Scottish Run which was just a couple of months away. David rolled his eyes and said he would join us. Daley Thomson shuffled uneasily in his seat.